Oneshot: Free Time in the Rec Room
Aug. 22nd, 2012 01:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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Beta: Starfire201
Note: Written for pjlover666 - you inspire me.
Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Sideswipe and a room full of Autobots
Genre: humour
Rating: PG
Summary: After a bad orn, all the bots wish for a quiet evening in the rec room, but then Prowl and Jazz start to talk to the growing horror of all those listening in.
Free Time in the Rec Room
It had been a long orn with an attack by the Decepticons, angry humans that didn't want to understand the notion of an alien war, and a completely stupid prank with the Energon dispenser that left more than half the Ark sick. Now, finally, peace had returned and all the bots with free time had found themselves for a nice chat in the rec room. When both Prowl and Jazz entered and got their own unpoisoned Energon cubes and sat down at an empty table, barely anyone gave them a glance.
They sat in silence, until Prowl looked contemplatingly at his cube and said: "You know, sometimes Sideswipe reminds me of that vendor in Altihex."
Jazz thought for a astrosecond. "The red one? Who sold you bad Energon?"
"Yes."
Next to them, Hound had elbowed Sideswipe at the mention of his name. The red warrior had looked up and started to listen in. His twin, and slowly the rest of the table, followed.
"Didn't you call the Enforcers and he got five vorns in prison?" asked Jazz.
Prowl shrugged. "Yes, but the prison time was only because the poisoning was deliberate."
The visored mech smirked. "I guess it was chance that he was killed five breems after leaving the prison...?"
The table with the twins and Hound stared: What the...? A few other bots in the room were picking up their odd behaviour and the other discussions got quieter.
"I would never kill somebot just because he tried to poison me."
Sideswipe went a few shades paler. His overprotective twin frowned and slid nearer to his brother.
"Of course."
"He shouldn't have tried to get you to drink the second cube, though," said Prowl with his matter of fact voice.
Sideswipe whimpered.
"How cute of you. He said it was for free."
"Your life is always a price too high," said Prowl and his faceplates graced one of the most sincere and terrifying smiles any of the Autobots had ever seen on their SIC.
Jazz smiled back. "Really? I thought the one time you sold me in Sonic Canyon..."
"You wanted that."
Jazz cocked his head. "It was a roleplay."
More and more bots got uncomfortable in their seats and looked for an escape. Never seemed the door farther away for the crowd.
"Still..."
"Can't say it wasn't realistic, though," admitted Jazz. "And I got you back for that."
Prowl visibly shuddered. "I still say that it was cruel."
"You're just a softie."
"The last Decepticon prisoner who suffered through it confessed everything after half a breem."
The first bots got up and slowly walked to the door, while trying their best to be invisible. Mirage had vanished into nothing long ago.
"That's efficiency," said Jazz with a hint of pride. "Sadly, he confessed things I never wanted to know... "
"You recorded it."
"Protocol."
"You record 12.5522 per cent of your interrogations."
"And?" said Jazz. "No one but you ever listens in. And you just do it because you like my voice."
Prowl huffed. "Your voice loses its appeal amongst screams."
"Does not~," said Jazz in a sing-song voice.
The tactician was quiet for a klick, then: "... you're right. It does not."
Ignoring all pretence and abandoning their dignity, the bots collectively stormed to the door. Some things they really didn't want to know.
~silber