Oneshot: Free Time in the Rec Room
Aug. 22nd, 2012 01:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
silberstreif![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
pjlover666 and I were joking that Prowl and Jazz could empty a room just by talking to each other... on the spur of the moment, I wrote the scene and send it to her, and back came a very short demand: "Post.IT." So here it is.Beta: Starfire201
Note: Written for pjlover666 - you inspire me.
Characters: Prowl, Jazz, Sideswipe and a room full of Autobots
Genre: humour
Rating: PG
Summary: After a bad orn, all the bots wish for a quiet evening in the rec room, but then Prowl and Jazz start to talk to the growing horror of all those listening in.
Free Time in the Rec Room
It had been a long orn with an attack by the Decepticons, angry humans that didn't want to understand the notion of an alien war, and a completely stupid prank with the Energon dispenser that left more than half the Ark sick. Now, finally, peace had returned and all the bots with free time had found themselves for a nice chat in the rec room. When both Prowl and Jazz entered and got their own unpoisoned Energon cubes and sat down at an empty table, barely anyone gave them a glance.
They sat in silence, until Prowl looked contemplatingly at his cube and said: "You know, sometimes Sideswipe reminds me of that vendor in Altihex."
Jazz thought for a astrosecond. "The red one? Who sold you bad Energon?"
"Yes."
Next to them, Hound had elbowed Sideswipe at the mention of his name. The red warrior had looked up and started to listen in. His twin, and slowly the rest of the table, followed.
"Didn't you call the Enforcers and he got five vorns in prison?" asked Jazz.
Prowl shrugged. "Yes, but the prison time was only because the poisoning was deliberate."
The visored mech smirked. "I guess it was chance that he was killed five breems after leaving the prison...?"
The table with the twins and Hound stared: What the...? A few other bots in the room were picking up their odd behaviour and the other discussions got quieter.
"I would never kill somebot just because he tried to poison me."
Sideswipe went a few shades paler. His overprotective twin frowned and slid nearer to his brother.
"Of course."
"He shouldn't have tried to get you to drink the second cube, though," said Prowl with his matter of fact voice.
Sideswipe whimpered.
"How cute of you. He said it was for free."
"Your life is always a price too high," said Prowl and his faceplates graced one of the most sincere and terrifying smiles any of the Autobots had ever seen on their SIC.
Jazz smiled back. "Really? I thought the one time you sold me in Sonic Canyon..."
"You wanted that."
Jazz cocked his head. "It was a roleplay."
More and more bots got uncomfortable in their seats and looked for an escape. Never seemed the door farther away for the crowd.
"Still..."
"Can't say it wasn't realistic, though," admitted Jazz. "And I got you back for that."
Prowl visibly shuddered. "I still say that it was cruel."
"You're just a softie."
"The last Decepticon prisoner who suffered through it confessed everything after half a breem."
The first bots got up and slowly walked to the door, while trying their best to be invisible. Mirage had vanished into nothing long ago.
"That's efficiency," said Jazz with a hint of pride. "Sadly, he confessed things I never wanted to know... "
"You recorded it."
"Protocol."
"You record 12.5522 per cent of your interrogations."
"And?" said Jazz. "No one but you ever listens in. And you just do it because you like my voice."
Prowl huffed. "Your voice loses its appeal amongst screams."
"Does not~," said Jazz in a sing-song voice.
The tactician was quiet for a klick, then: "... you're right. It does not."
Ignoring all pretence and abandoning their dignity, the bots collectively stormed to the door. Some things they really didn't want to know.
~silber
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2012-08-22 12:59 pm (UTC)I always laugh myself to tears whenever I read this! Haha, thank you for sharing it with the others! It's just too good to stay hidden! ^^ Jazz and Prowl (esp Prowl) are so badass :D Run Sides!
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Date: 2012-08-22 09:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-22 01:32 pm (UTC)Recording their sessions...oh boy!
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Date: 2012-08-22 09:16 pm (UTC)Thanks for reviewing!
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Date: 2012-08-22 02:06 pm (UTC)Yep, some things we are better off not knowing!
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Date: 2012-08-22 09:18 pm (UTC)Curiosity kills the cat... ^^ or in this case, maybe the pranksters. Thanks for reviewing!
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Date: 2012-08-22 05:10 pm (UTC)I love the whole reactions from the bots listening in - paling and whimpering Sideswipe LOL - and, well... ROLEPLAY! °_0 ROFLMAO!!! XD
You have the greatest ideas, seriously! I LOVE your Jazz and Prowl! And here the dryness of the humor, this matter of fact way; worked beautifully. How come you needed encouragement to post this? You can't hide little gems like this *tsk tsk* ;)
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Date: 2012-08-22 09:22 pm (UTC)I love them as bad-ass TFs.
I'm nearly pitying the poor bots who are listening in... not really. Oh, yes, of course very very real roleplay... Their berthlife simply can't be boring!
Mmh, I really didn't realise that it was a good work, until I got the response. It simply was a spur of the moment thing, written in less than ten minutes.
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Date: 2012-08-23 02:37 pm (UTC)Me too! We REALLY need to get to see that in the next big movie! I want to see Prowler in cinema! *pouts* And no killing off Jazz! >_<
LOL I'll bet they like to experiment. Besides, Prowl need a chance to let go of his control and Jazz, in turn, needs to just hand himself over to being taken care of - when they don't play rough and kinky ;)
My readers are doomed that way, I simply post everything I write LOL
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Date: 2012-08-26 03:33 pm (UTC)Oh yes, why Jazz? There are so many other TFs which one could kill of stylish to show an example. And really, there are many.
Of course, and as I said once in another short humor ff (that never made it online) Prowl: That processor gets easily bored!
:D Don't know if readers love or hate this...
God, readers. You know I still have some huge German ffs, right? Well, they deleted one because of a too low rating (it only was online with a PG16 rating for... oh, 7 years?!), and with the story 1833 review. I could cry at the moment in frustration. But my readers are great. Ask what happened.
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Date: 2012-09-14 09:41 pm (UTC)Yes, didn't make much sense to me either, considering that Jazz was Optimus SiC in Bayverse, if I remember that correctly. Besides, they had soooo many TFs to pick from, why kill one who's so popular? But then again, Prowl is even more popular and doesn't show up ONCE °-°
Now we can't have Prowl getting bored ;)
What happened? - But seriously, they get a bit crazy about ratings and whatnot nowadays, not even only FF.de, but FF.net too... Weird. If it's really about the ratings, than after years, the damage is already done!
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Date: 2012-09-17 01:42 pm (UTC)I remember as well that Jazz was SiC. Prowl is really more popular than Jazz? I thought it was the other way around... Bay probably thougth: "A tactician and my explosions? - Doesn't mix well."
Of course not. Prowl could go to Jazz and then... it all becomes more unpredictable than Wheeljack's workshop.
Short story? Well. FF.de sent a message that I have to raise the rating after 7 years from 16 to 18. I was camping. I ignored the mail account for two weeks due camping and holiday and not expecting any problems after 7 YEARS. They erased the story two weeks after the first message. Readers panicked. I asked ff.de and the answer was: Well, that was an error in holiday time we normally wait 4 weeks...
I realised the problem around 3 hours after they erased the story.
Funny thing? The problem scene is in the very first chapter and 'explicit murder scenes'. Well, in the whole fanfic is nothing 'excplicit'. There are lots of deaths and wars and the rape in the first chapter... but the rating of 16 should have been enough.
Conclusion? The whole thing was because someone complained.
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Date: 2012-09-17 03:21 pm (UTC)I'm not sure, I went by the popularity of their action figures; Prowls are more expansive/in higher demand, at least in Japan. Not that I really care, I have my own favorites ^-^
Well, then Bayverse has no clue about anything, because when that tactician is fed up, explosions will be the least of your worries!
They have quite the trigger finger when it comes to deleting FFs lately... That totally sucks! And just because someone complained???
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Date: 2012-09-23 07:40 pm (UTC)Really? I didn't know that. Go, Prowl, go! :D What are your favorites?
*nod* Never fuck with the tactician, he is the one who decides over your chance of survival. ;)
Yep, just because someone complained... trigger finger indeed. It's so stupid. But at least ffde is still more reluctant most of the time than ffnet.
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Date: 2012-09-25 08:20 am (UTC)Honestly? First rank goes to Prowl (duh), then Kup and Megatron (but I'm also strangely in love with my own OCs :D).
It's not just that though, here in Germany it's the GEMA, in US DMCA Act - the whole net is in an uproar >_< I don't like it... Maybe I should vote for the Piraten next elections...
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Date: 2012-09-26 07:31 pm (UTC)I should have guessed Kup. :) But Megatron is a surprise. ^^ The old megalomaniac has charisma.
*nod* You say it. I really miss the internet of 2004 were one hadn't such worries... At least Germany didn't sign Acta and in the end most countries pulled back after people went to the street. Did you notice the new idea on Europe level called Clean IT? http://jetzt.sueddeutsche.de/texte/anzeigen/556564/Einmal-Komplettsaeuberung-bitte
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Date: 2012-09-26 08:17 pm (UTC)I just LOVE the old bot! :) I probably lack father figures in my life XD Yeah, Megatron, I really have a thing for the bad guys; loved to write him in "Claws" *schwärm*
"Terroristische Aktivitäten"... Wow, also nicht nur Jagd auf MP3 Sauger ^-^" Bin ja mal gespannt wie die das organisieren wollen - und wie weit sie mit 40.000 Förderung kommen ^.^
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Date: 2012-09-28 10:36 am (UTC)Bad old guys - I'm so grinning at that description of Megatron. XD
Nicht nur, zumindest sagen sie das. Aber 'terroristische Aktivitäten'? Da suche ich doch lieber eine Nadel im Heuhaufen. Nur 40.000? ... *lol*
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Date: 2012-09-28 04:31 pm (UTC)Megatron as a father figure would be interesting XD
Mal sehen, ob die das wirklich machen...
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Date: 2012-09-29 08:18 am (UTC)Yeah... now tell me why the idea if Megs as the father of Prowl isn't leaving me aline since "Seeing you again"?
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Date: 2012-09-29 05:26 pm (UTC)True, but Optimus is a TF with the Matrix - the Stargate people are strictly human, even if some of them have special ATA genes...
...probably because that idea is not satisfied with only one FF being written? *hint hint*
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Date: 2012-09-29 11:06 pm (UTC)Yeah, Optimus has the Matrix, the in-built deus ex machina (im wahrsten Sinne des Wortes XD).
Probably. But sadly at the moment my muses are so very busy, that all ideas come into my big bunny cauldron. ^^ Until the day a monster comes out of the cauldron and says: "Write me, or..."
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Date: 2012-10-01 10:29 am (UTC)LOL I know that feeling; wherever I turn, I see my notepads out of the corner of my eyes, stalking me >_< It's scary!
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Date: 2012-10-04 10:04 pm (UTC)*lol* Be careful, one day you might wake up and they're all over you, begging to be written... ;) But my muse is quiet at the moment. Stress killed her, I fear.
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Date: 2012-10-09 09:01 am (UTC)They are, or more precisely, lying open on my desk, but my muse is dead too, I think T-T That sucks, because I really wanted to write you more Clint/Loki *bawls*
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Date: 2012-10-09 04:56 pm (UTC)My muse had it's great revival on Monday. Should have studied, but after 2 hourse my muse roared and I wrote a oneshot... for tf-speedwriting. But I need 2,5 hours instead of 2. -.- oh well.
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Date: 2012-10-10 02:56 pm (UTC)Depending on the word count, you could have cheated ;) My muse reared her head as well, which is why you get: Loki, Clint and Hel :)
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Date: 2012-10-12 11:28 am (UTC)Ah, no need to. I'm now considering writing a second part to it... XD It's growing. Yay, a great welcome back for your muse!
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Date: 2012-10-13 01:02 pm (UTC)LOL She's already bothering me with another piece - she seems to be in love with Renner or something; this time it's back to Mission Impossible: GP *facepalm* Damn her, I've signed up for a MiniBang, for Chrissake >_
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Date: 2012-10-15 01:27 pm (UTC)*laugh* Wow, but I admit Renner in an action scene IS worth watching the movie - even if you have to ignore everything else. XD
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Date: 2012-10-15 02:24 pm (UTC)As I said, daylight robbery, nothing more! They add some new details, pimp up the 'legendary Pokemon and a gimmick here and there and voilà - they can sell the same game twice; and the kids will buy it (or force their parents to do it for them >_<).
I actually like the "Ghost Protocol" movie very much, so it's not as if I need to ignore anything to make it 'bearable' or something LOL My problem is more that my muse insists on rape-recovery... Does Ethan Hunt count for the 'breaking the cutie' trope...? ^-^"
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Date: 2012-10-26 08:55 am (UTC)The "legendary Pokemon" is boring anyway. Since Mew and Mewto I've never really wanted a legendary pokemon anymore. And the best ones were the early ones anyway. My fav legendary pm was Arktos. I mean that was elegance, right?
No idea... does he count?
The next movies I'll see are paranormal activity 4 (no idea way - oh yes, my friends go and convinced me that I should see it. Now, they are horror fans, and to them I'm very funny in a horror movie... guess why ;) ), the new james bond (the critiques are great!) and hotel transylvanian (the accent is so cute ^^").
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Date: 2012-10-27 08:58 am (UTC)I liked the blue/icy one that looked a bit like a wolf, the one you had to encounter in the field - the three legendary ones, that were so fast and hard to catch?
Arktos was great, yes.
I think so although 'cutie' for Ethan Hunt... uhm... ^.^" It's harder to write than I expected, though; only three pages done so far; darn! >_< But currently, I'm trying to fill a prompt on twd-kinkmeme.
You won't EVER get me to watch a horror movie in cinema - I would just embarrass myself with screaming and hiding *facepalm* The new Bond 'Skyfall' doesn't interest me that much - but my watched a trailer for Hotel Transylvania and was howling with laughter, so we'll rent it out on DVD.
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Date: 2012-10-27 09:42 am (UTC)So it has tradition?
I know which legendary pokemon you mean, it had that unspeakable name. Looked the name up: Suicune. I really miss the the old names that could be remembered easily...
Lugia and Ho-Oh came after those three 'wolves'. Were nice, but they didn't look as great. Especially Lugia's wings I always found strange.
Ethan Hunt... well, yes, I can be a cutie, but really, "handsome" or kick-ass hero/fighter/survivor fits him better.
What is the prompt?
Last time I was in a horror movie a friend of mine gave me her arm... I clutched it so hard in a shock moment that she still hurt after the movie ended. :D
We'll see hotel transylvania on friday. I look forward to it.
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Date: 2012-10-27 04:30 pm (UTC)I had yellow, I couldn't resist the lure of having Pikachu to train, and it was always trailing behind you and a little heart would appear when it loved you :)
Yes, it's really a tradition by now. I'm sure they'll do the same with the next one, whichever that may be.
Yes, Suicune - how the hell do you pronounce that?! °-° These are my favorites: http://www.pokewiki.de/Absol and http://www.pokewiki.de/Nachtara - I seem to have a thing for Unlicht pokemon :) The first I always called 'Lucifel' and the other 'Toda' ^.^
I won't tell you - but it's nothing kinky. And I really hope you didn't expect that from ME of all people XD
Tell me how the movie was; mum was really excited about it.
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Date: 2012-08-22 06:58 pm (UTC)Ooh, Side's face when they're talking about the mech that tried to poison them...priceless~!! >8D
And I wish to know more of this "role-play", you have me intrigued~ >3
And as for the rest of the 'Bots: That's what you get for eavesdropping~!! >D *cackles evilly*
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Date: 2012-08-22 09:24 pm (UTC)Poor Sides, he'll recharge very badly tonight. Good thing he has a twin who'll guard him... ;)
Mmh, let's just say their berthlife is many things, but boring is not among it.
They so deserved it. I'm sure the moment the room is empty, Prowl and Jazz start laughing. :p Deep inside they're both pranksters as well.
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Date: 2012-08-22 10:01 pm (UTC)And of course they're pranksters~!! Jazz is a given, and Prowl, well, he's the REASON for the saying "It's always the quiet ones"~~ XD *cackles evilly* Cant wait for more of these beauties from you~!!
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Date: 2012-08-23 12:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-23 07:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-24 03:48 pm (UTC)Prowl, Prowl, Prowl... you and your sly sense of humor that few mechs know you have... love it.
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Date: 2012-08-26 02:07 am (UTC)Thanks for your comment.
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Date: 2012-12-18 07:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-12-18 10:20 am (UTC)